dietcrush:

my friend’s dog was sick and couldn’t get up so they were gonna put him down and as his final supper they got him a big mac and when the dog smelled it he shot up and ate it in one bite and lived for three more years

orelpuppington:

isn’t it funny how people say ‘grilled cheese’ instead of ‘grilled cheese sandwich’? you could be talking about an actual piece of grilled che

i stopped typing because i realized that this is the single most worthless post ever conceived 

fuckinq:

I went jogging this morning and i noticed a guy was following me and i was so scared lmfao my heart was pounding and then he finally caught up to me and said “hey you dropped 50 bucks” and i took it and started running and while i’m running i’m laughing because the 50 dollars didn’t belong to me